I'll be Missing You
by Mrs.gross
Summary: All human. Bella dies from cancer and leaves behind a depressed Edward and a lost Renesmee. Can they cope?
1. Chapter 1

Prologue:

I was so selfish. I knew my little girl was heartbroken by I never supported her. I wallowed in my own self pity. That day when she was in that hospital it made me realize I needed her like the day I needed her mom when they laid on that white hospital bed. My baby girl was my life. I take back my selfish ways to give it all to my little girl. It wasn't fair for her. I just needed that little girl safe in my arms. I will love, and care for her. Just give her back...

Hey its I'm a newbie here and I hope you love the story thanx!


	2. Chapter 2

As I watched my frail love, holding her hand tightly. I was holding on like if I eased up she'll fade off. Her seizures were horrible and her eyes were lifeless. She was so pale skinny and all of her hair had fallen off. No matter what, she was so beautiful. My tears leaked on to her wrinkled skin and her heart monitor decreased every minute. It broke me to pieces. How was I suppose to explain to our daughter her mommy wasn't coming back. Little love was going to need her in her future. She only knew her mother 6years of her life.

Suddenly the straight line appeared and Bella took her last breath. I cried and was pulled out the room after they moved her body. I looked at our family and they looked into my eyes. They know now.

Renee cried into Phil's shoulder, Charlie froze and called me a liar with tears streaming down his face. Esme sobbed loudly into my fathers chest as Carlisle hugged her crying into her hair. Alice started shaking and crying uncontrollably. Jasper hugged her shoulder crying as loudly with her. Emmet started punching the wall while crying and a crying Rose trying to calm him down. I just stared at them blankly feeling numb all over. Their cries were fogged and they were very blurry. They came and hugged me and that's when I finally broke down. She is really gone.

3 years later

"Daddy! Look daddy! I got a good grade!" A 9 year old Renesmee barged in. I looked into her chocolate pool eyes. Like her mother.

"I see sweety but I have to work." I said and kissed her forehead. She looked disappointed and walked away. I feel bad not spending time with my little girl but she had to understand that my job is what is keeping us up and steady right now. Well that's a bad excuse. It hurts being around nessie knowing she looks like her mother. Yeah she does look like me but her eyes and personality reminded of her mom. Its been 3 years but still didn't get over it.

I told our babysitter how things were runner and was off to work. It was a slow day but it was usual. I looked down at my wedding band and smiled. God I missed that woman it hurts without being with her. I haven't seen anyone in the last 3 years and usually people looked at me crazy when I said I have been with one woman in my whole life. I loved her.

I love nessie but have a funny way of showing it. She is the most sweetest little lady I've seen as she grew. She is smart and very responsible at her age and she does make me proud. Nessie reminds me of so much of her mother Be-, it hurts to say her name. She was so selfless and kind and was a great wife and mother. Nessie remembers her but I know she watches some home videos to keep the memory in. But me, I have been kinda distant with her. Taking extra shifts, napping or just want peace. I don't understand how she can smile and call me daddy if I have hurt her so much. I need to make a change for my baby. she is the only one I have actually. Alice and Jasper moved 2 days after Bella's death and Rose and Emmett moved 2 weeks after. Alice and Jasper moved to Texas on a nice suburban ranch. Rose and Em moved to Tennessee. Alice and Jasper were expecting in 3 months time with a bouncing baby boy. Rose gave birth 2 weeks ago to 2 twins named Alexander Emmett McCarthy and Alexandra Isabella McCarthy. I was happy foor them and they visit down in seattle to visit Ness and I. Esme and Carlisle still lived in the same house and visit us very often. They were still concerned on my well being but don't ask.

I arrived into the hospital and worked. On my break I sat in my office laying back in my chair while closing my eyes. Suddenly I looked at the pictures on my desk. I smiled at the happiness of bella, Nessie, and myself. The first picture was Bella running away from Nessie smiling and laughing as Nessie tried to grab her with her a red cloth tied around her eyes. The other picture was Me and Bella. My arms around her waist from behind and she was looking into the camera laughing and smiling as my face was in her neck laughing too. Suddenly, I immediately closed my eyes and leaned back in my chair as one tear fell down my cheek slowly. I tried to stop the tears from falling down onto my face.

The young receptionist, Kate Nomad , came into my office and saw my current state with the picture in my hand. She looked at me sadly and announced that my new patient arrived. I nodded and put the picture down. Kate came over to me and hugged me.

"Trust me Mr. Cullen things will get better. You do have Renesmee. Speaking of that little girl, how is she?" Kate asked as she looped her arm through mine as we walked out of the office. I smiled thinking of the little miracle I had at home. I told her about her new school and her grades and her well being. Kate beamed with excitement and pulled out her wallet.

"Don't think its for you, give this 20 to that special little girl. If I hear you spent it on a 2 cent hooker trust me I'll castrate you." Kate said jokingly then hugged me and went back to the front desk.

I immediately went to the patients room.

Finally I got off my shift at 10 and headed to my Volvo to drive home. As I arrived home I saw the living room light on and notice the baby sitter, Mrs. Huntoon. She was an elderly old lady who lived next door. Her husband passed away the year before Bella did. She is a sweet old lady. When she died, Mrs. Huntoon came to console as well as my friends and family. she always to little love to bake muffins or cookies at her house when I was busy or when she got lonely. At fist I was hesitant about it but that old lady was harmless. She was any other lady. She also knew discipline and they is a bonus for me if Nessie acted out, which was very rare. I notice a smiling Mrs. Huntoon on my couch watching soap operas.

"Hello Edward, your little bambina is fast asleep in her room. She was a little angel today. Im getting a little tired, call me tomorrow if anything comes up." She kissed my cheek and hugged me and left. I smiled softly at Mrs. Huntoon. When her husband died she was a sobbing mess. Bella always suggested we go there and cheer her up. We brought sweets and Nessie always serenaded Mrs, Huntoon. Bella had such a good heart and Mrs. Huntoon and my family grew very close. I went upstairs and checked into Nessie's room. I cracked the door open and poke my head in. I saw her sleeping peacefully and she mumbled and smiled in her sleep. My heart warmed looking at her sleep. She nibbled lightly on her bottom lip. She looked exactly like her mom when she did that. I snuck over to her bed a kissed her forehead lightly and tip toed out the room.

I took of my uniform and went to take a hot shower to relax my tense muscles. I pit on some sweat pants and t-shirt and head to bed. As I closed my eyes I swore I heard Bella's laugh.

Morning came but I was still heavily sleeping in my soft,cold bed. Suddenly I felt the bed moving under like someone was bouncing on my bed from the creaking springs and the the headboard hitting the wall. I know it sound like I was having sex but it freaked me out till I heard a tinkling giggle that sound like heaven. I looked above me and see a smiling, wild morning hair nessie.

"Daddy wake up I made waffles for you! They're delicious." Nessie said beaming. I laughed and picked her up and threw her over my shoulders. She squealed as we ran downstairs.

I saw perfect waffles on the granite counter top and looked at little love. She looked at me and pushed me to the waffles. I sat down gratefully and ate it as she ate cereal.

"Ness these are great!" I said happily. She looked down and blushed. That made my heart hurt as she looked down reminding me of my deceased wife.

"I was hoping it would taste like how momma made them". She said hopefully.

I stopped eating and threw my plate away.

"Renesmee go get ready to leave and get dressed. Aunt Alice probably would like to see you, she is at nana's today." I said emotionally. Ness froze and hopped off the stool and did what she was told.

We got into my Volvo and sped off to my parents house. We arrived there and I dropped her off.

"By daddy I love you." She said I just nodded still looking in front of me. She tried to kiss my cheek but I moved out of the way. She sighed and left to knock on my parents door and I waited in the car till they answered the door and waved to me. I sped off to God knows where. I finally sped off to a local bar. I drunk heavily. This has been the first time I had gotten drunk after Bella's death. What Ness said this morning just shocked me and I was just annoyed. I almost cried after the bartender told me to leave. I don't know why but I just almost cried.

I stumbled to my car and surprisingly made it to my parents house. I knocked well much more banged loudly on the door. It was about 12 in the morning.

Esme and Carlisle came down with robes wrapped around them and suddenly notice my sudden state. Carlisle looked at me with disapproving eyes as Esme looked like she wanted to cry and rip my head off my body.

"I-(hiccup)I- came (hiccup) to get(hiccup) l-l-lit-tle l-l-ove(hiccup)." I slurred drunkenly. Carlisle shook his head.

"Edward, you need to get home. Nessie is asleep and you don't want to disturb her." He said with a stern voice.

"Edward she is already hurt how you reacted with her this morning. She came in here with full blown tears in her eyes." Esme said coldy. I flinched away. I hurt my angel. I really did mess things up. Suddenly i collapsed sobbing crazily and Carlisle came to pick me up off the ground. He took my keys and drove me home then took a cab home.

I woke passed out on the couch and notice i was wearing clothes from yesterday. I sighed and went to hop in the shower and get Nessie. I had to apologize.

I hopped into my Volvo and sped to get Nessie.

I pulled up in front of the house and knocked on the door. Alice came to the door and noticed it was me. She glared daggers at me and looked at me with disgusts. I know I deserve it. Her rounded belly was out there and reminded me of how Bella was round with Renesmee. I smiled at that memory.

"My face is up here don't look at son's cave." She said annoyed. I looked up from her 7 month stomach to her face. She stared at me like she was trying to figure out something.

"Can I get Nessie?" I asked like I had to really ask her.

"She is your daughter and you better treat her like she is or ill have Em,Rose,Jazzy and myself kick you mother f-" Alice rant was cut off by an angelic voice.

"Daddy?" Little love asked.

I pushed pass a heated Alice and hugged Nessie.

"Hey sweetie, I'm so sorry how I have been acting towards you, I promise I wont hurt your feelings like that again. I hope sometime you can forgive me." I said hopefully. She just smiled and hugged me back but her smile didn't reach her eyes.

"Daddy its fine and thank you Auntie Ali for looking out for me." Nessie said.

"Don't worry mini c, your dad needs to know when he needs to take his big head out of his butt." Alice said smugly. I rolled my eyes at my angry pixie sister.

I got Nessie's coat on her and we walked out the door. We were in the Volvo and I decided to talk to her.

"Little love, you know I love you, and how I acted was wrong. I'm so sorry and I don't know if that's enough and I'm happy you talk to someone if someone hurt you. I'm proud of your courage. If I was hurting you constantly I'm glad I know you be brave and tell. Listen little love, don't think I regret having you. You are the best thing that has happened to me. Also to this while family. You made everyone put smiles on their face after you were born. I can't express it enough to tell you in many words that I love that you are the best little girl I ever had." I said truly. I turned back and noticed that she smiled but again it didn't reach her eyes.

we pulled up to the house and walked into the house. I decided to spend some time with the little angel. We played games, watched scary movies, ate junk food in our pajamas. During one of those movies I noticed she fell asleep on my lap and I smiled and carried her to my room. Tonight I didn't want be alone. Tonight was the first night in 3 years I shared my bed with little love. I slept contently and peacfully with my daughter in my arms.

I want people to love this story and it my get a little depressing in it that I forgot to mention into the summary so I hope you like.


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own Twilight

SM does

Edward POV

I woke up to the sound of banging downstairs and I rose up from the bed slowly to not wake Nessie up. I kissed her forehead as she crinkled her nose a little. She had gotten that trait from Bella. Its amazing how she did similar things just like her and not even notice.

I trudged down the steps slowly and answered the door. I was greeted by my parents who looked not very happy with me.

"Edward, where is Nessie?" Dad asked. I ran my fingers through my hair worried that my parents didn't wake Ness up.

"Upstairs in my room sleep why?" I asked confusingly. I think it was about 6 in the morning and they are already aggravated with me for some unknown reason.

'I just want to see if she is alright and that you haven't upset her. I am so disappointed with you and how you showed to the house. I could've taken her away Edward but I do understand that you need her." Mom said forcefully. I froze for a minute. They were gonna plan to take Ness away from me. They thought I was unstable and a unfit father.

"Wait so you are tryna say that I'm a unfit father for my child?!" I yelled, not actually caring at the moment that I would wake Nessie.

"Edward lower your tone your gonna wake Nessie." My mom scolded me. I just glared at her. She is gonna sit here and threaten to take my daughter away from me then scold me for yelling in MY house like I was some child.

"Who are you?! Last time I checked your both on my property!" I yelled again. I didn't care that I saw some nosy neighbors peeking through their windows or doors, nobody was taking my little girl from me. Not even the people who raised me.

" Edward we know you are a great father and we know you love her, but you need to take some time to cope by yourself over Bella's death. You have to stop taking Nessie down with you. She is a little girl and she needs to be a child! Your taking that away from her. She doesn't need to come home and know how to take care of her own depressed father I mean she is making pancakes for Christ sakes for you! And she is 9 years old!" Mom said.

I looked sadly at them for a moment and glared at them again.

"Your so worried what people take from you but you are blind to see what you are taking from them. What your taking from that little girl is her happiness, childhood, and her parents. Be a father and take good care of that angel at all time. Not when you feel in a loving mood. As for right now we decided to have Nessie to stay with us for a while." My father said.

"Stop! You aren't taking her from me she is mine and mine only! I do love her you know that. I made a mistake! I'll do anything I'll see a therapist if you want me to. Just don't take my little girl away. Stop! God-D**nnit No!." I sobbed and cried. I tried to block them from the door way. I notice a flood of people watching at their doorsteps and some stared down at their feet. I fought harder as Carlisle held me down while Esme ran to get Nessie.

As I was face down on the ground, I noticed Nessie looking at me. It seemed her bags were full of clothes. Then I realized this whole time. It was already planned. Nessie planned to leave with them. She knew. Was she even a little girl? She is so clever. As she looked at me I noticed her eyes were bloodshot red and she looked so...relieved. Like something was over. Was I really that awful of a dad? I drove my own daughter out of her own home because I didn't cope with my wifes death, her mother. I should definitely get an award for father of the year. I wouldn't be surprised if this was in the local news. Daughter is saved while father is suffering and wallowing. I guess its for the best..right?

Hey sorry it was so short but im really tired and have been running around I hoped you had enjoyed. Until next time my friends!


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